Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Spring distractions

I had these grand plans to write a blog about the stuff I do-- the food I cook, knitting projects I make, science I find exciting, but in the end I have realized I just don't enjoy being a how-to person or guide-to-_____ person. I just talk about things that are on my mind. Even knowing that nobody is really reading what is on my mind. So maybe this is just an outlet for me. I would love to inspire people, but think I may not be inspiring. I have no original home projects, my recipes are only slightly altered recipes from the original, I don't write original music, my knitting projects are taken from books, magazines, web-sites. So once again I do things half-heartedly. So often I wish I had an amazing passionate drive to do things and leave a mark in this world. I am not sure where I read this or heard this, but apparently humans have a drive to leave a legacy of themselves on this earth. Be it a child, an idea, an art, touching someone's life, etc. What if you don't have this desire to leave a legacy? Does this make you less 'human'?
I don't have this desire very often- I mean it sounds grand, but all and all I just wanna fade away. I don't mean this in a depressing sense, in fact I am so content. I find such beauty in everything around me, that really I would just rather that beauty engulf me and overshadow my existence.

Today I spent all day in my backyard planting plants into containers for my little container garden. I am so amazed by plants- so much more so than I am by mammals. Everything from their reproductive processes, their evolution from sea to land, their diversification to fill and compete in diverse ecological niches. I love that they provide food and/or beauty and that during the spring they burst forth every year like a symphony reaching a crescendo of vibrant greens. I love this about spring. This is what harkens a renewal, not anything humans have ever done, no religion, no industrial creation, but nature itself. So this Easter I think I really understood the meaning of the season-- what happened that humans became so far removed from the natural world that they always think in terms of the afterlife-- what about the amazing life that is lived and breathed on this Earth. The blooming, sprouting, sweet beauty of nature.

I will probably document the progress of my potted plants-- maybe something sweet, delicious and beautiful will come from it. Even if it doesn't it has already provided me great joy.


  1. I like the phrase "a crescendo of vibrant greens". I love that you find poetry in the natural world.

  2. i, too, feel no strong desire to leave a mark. well, sometimes i do but then i realize it probably won't happen so why not just go with the flow. same reason i wish i could enter and leave a room, party, etc without having to say hello or goodbye. Fade in, fade out, thats the way to be.

    And you write a beautiful blog, dear! =)